How many of you ever feel out of place when you go to an event, party or family activity?
I know for me there have been times I felt like I didn't belong. Like I'm the lost puppy trying to figure out where I fit in. Several times over the years I have found myself looking around the room at others and observing their face expressions and movements. Like, today I went to a bridal shower and focused on others body language. You know the smile, step forward or away.
When I have a conversation with someone I always let them talk about their life and experiences, I give them control of the conversation because I know if I don't the conversation will end quick.
Why do we feel a need to be the one to talk and not be the one to listen?
When I was growing up, and living with other people while my mother was in the hospital I dreamed of a normal family with family vacations and making lasting memories. When I have a conversation with others and they share their childhood it makes me wish I had those experiences. I guess we always think the grass is greener on the other side.
My husband has videos of his family growing up and living all over the world. I on the other hand have memories stuck in my head of a life I did not want to have. I envied the experiences my husband had when he was young, because I dreamed of having those types of experiences while living with other families.
My parents did the best they knew how given the circumstances of mental illness invading our home. My mother always played second fiddle in the eyes of my grandmother. She could never measure up to her older sister that my grandmother thought the world of. My grandmother actions towards my mother affected not only me, but my brothers and Father.
Her actions have made me want to not be like her. I want to be loving to my children, grandchildren and husband. I want to be loving to my family and friend, because the way we treat others can have a lasting impact on not just them, but others.
My goal is to always realized that I might feel like the lost puppy in a room, but there are others in the room that feel the same way. Some come from broken homes, some had a adventures like my husband and some lived the path I lived. We all need to see that are hearts beat the same way and we all have desires to feel loved and wanted.
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