How many of us feel emotions stir in us when we go to a place we had been to many years before.
It can bring feelings of sadness, relief, joy and mixed emotions. It plays with the heart of how that last time you had been in that environment you felt that same feeling as before, but in a different light.
You are older, wiser, and understand the how and why reasons.
When I was young I had often gone to the hospital to see my mother when she was ill and this last week I went to a hospital like the one she was in to visit a friend. It brought memories that still haunt me. Memories that I have tried to avoid thinking about.
Memories of wanting her home instead of locked up in a building unable to be my mother. How can I grasp those thoughts and feelings now that I had as a little girl? I still have a hard time seeing the full picture of why she was not home with me.
Why she could not braid my hair? Why she could not teach me how to apply make-up and why she was unable to teach me about womanhood?
Now that I am a mother, I see it must of been as difficult on her as it was on me.
Just to write this brings a heavy heart because I know my mother's love was locked in that building along with her emotional instabilities.
