It's been months.

Writing my book has been a passion and desire. I crave writing like others crave chocolate.  I have edit my novel completely once with the help from a dear friend Anna and now I'm on my second round. It's been an experience I thought would be simple to do, but I have found it's painful, hard, and overwhelming.  It's like trying to climb a ladder with a ton of bricks on your back and you can't see the step to move forward.  When I look upward towards the end of the ladder I envision accomplishment. 

My reason for writing is to share with others my personal journey of different trials and to let others see we are all special with strength to overcome any obstacle that comes in our way.  Seeing the world through one eye has been sometimes a challenge and embarrassment. It's made we wonder if I mattered to others and myself.  I have wished on a million stars to wipe away these birth defects, but then I have come to realize how blessed I am.  When I hear about the German measles and parents not wanting to give their children the MMR shot it makes me sad.  I guess because I would of loved for my mother to have that shot so I wouldn't be living with this horrible disease called Congenital Rubella Syndrome.

Elizabeth a character in my book who thought nothing would turn out right.    

I often feel like I’m on a merry go round.   Each spin causes my focus to shift on what matters most and becomes less retainable. My hands wrap tightly around the bar that I hope is perfectly welded. My faith is captured somewhere deep in the middle of my soul with hope I won’t slip off and facture several bones.  How many of us feel like we are revolving down a path we never thought possible?  How many of us feel alone in the massive world we can’t keep up with?    

David Archuleta - Falling Stars Lyrics On Screen

How many teenagers feel this way...I know the character in my book felt this way.

6 ways to build a better relationship with your teenager during difficult times.

•Treat your teenager like the individual he?She is

•Ask your teen's opinion first

•Don't judge or elaborate on your teen's failures. Instead, help your teenager to resolve problems

•Take time to listen

•Stay active in your teen's life

Biggest thing you can do is make them feel important and validated.
Make them feel like they matter!

Stories I don't like to hear about.

A dear friend shared a story with me about a girl who is dealing with a horrible break up. She doesn’t want to attend school, church, or go out with her friends. So often our youth struggle with self esteem after a break up. They feel used like a piece trash only thinking the garage man will want them.

As an author writing about teenagers and self esteem I think of parents like myself and wonder if we are totally aware of the rejection our youth are dealing with. To express to a teenager they are wanted and value is important, but the real key to success is when they honestly believe it too.

A teen guide; to getting over a break up.

Elizabeth could of really used these steps with the breakup with Paul. I have noticed over the years several youth who have struggled like Elizabeth did. It breaks my heart to watch others live in pain over the rejection from a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Teenagers and Breakups

I found this information on http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/breakingup/a/breakuphelper.htm

I so many teenagers deal breakups and never know how to cope with it.

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.
2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.
3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.
4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.
5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?
6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.
7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.
8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine. Good luck!

One of the most important things you can do after a break up is not run out and get another boy/girlfriend right away. Find a new hobbie or skill and take some time to help yourself see who you really are.

Memoir is finally a Novel.

It's been ten years since I started on my manuscript... and so much has happened.
1. My parents both have pasted on.
2. My son served a full time church mission.
3. My son married a beautiful young lady.
4. I have been given the opportunity to have a special needs son that became a member of our family eleven years ago.
5. I have joined ANWA and love it.
6. Have taken creative writing classes from Pamela Goodfellow.
7. Have learn a lot about myself while writing my memoir.

Mental Illness

Elizabeth found her mother's illness to be a embarrassment most of the time. She never felt she could share her struggles in life with her mother. I guess she felt her mother was to overwhelmed with her own emotional needs.
Elizabeth always wondered if her friends had a parent who was ill like her mother. As time pasted for Elizabeth she thought maybe her life would of been different if she had a normal mother like her friends did.

Elizabeth thinks...

Elizabeth thinks she is the only one who could ever be dumped by a boyfriend. She feels lost once the boy she loved leaves. What will she ever do... how will she pick up the pieces and move on?

LIfe

Jacqueline's heart filled with awe...as she read her mothers words. Never did her arms pits sweat like they did when her eyes glided across the paper.

Coming to the end...sweet.

Words, thoughts, and emotions, build a book with meaning. Each letter brings together a view of some form of direction.
I have almost completely put my novel together. It's been a ten year process. Now it's down to the hard part. Editing. My hope is the book will touch someones life. It's got lots of sad experiences for both Elizabeth and Jacqueline, but it also has a story of courage and faith. Prayer is the key of placing the words in a order that bring a picture together. Never realized how many villains I had in the book. I think there are now four or maybe five. I guess it depends on how the reader sees each character.